7/20/11

Thor

Two things came to mind while watching this movie:

Mario Kart's Rainbow Road course and "Man that guy is buff."

Score: 85%
Rating: Green

Cars 2

I was never infatuated with "Cars" because it felt too much like Jay Jay the jet plane. However it's one redeeming factor was it's appeal to kids. Ya know...vroom vroom talking cars...kids love it! Then Cars 2 decides it's going to add this mafia element to the mix and attach machine guns to hub caps. Now its "vroom vroom....blam blam blam....kabooom you're dead I killed you!"

Well Pixar...you killed your perfect streak. And I'm bummed about it.

Score: 65%
Rating: Yellow (a little violent for little kids)

7/6/11

Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides

I was so confused by this movie's lack of a good protagonist.

I was all like "Oh HE dies? That must mean he was the bad guy."

I also always feel the urge to take a shower after these pirate movies.

Score: 75%
Rating: Yellow

Million Dollar Baby

Am I glad I watched this movie?

Yes.

Do I wish I never saw this movie?

Yes.

Did I love this movie?

Yes.

Did I hate this movie?

Yes.

Score: 80%
Rating: Yellow (scar you for life)

6/30/11

The Recruit

Turns out movies with the letters : C I A F B and I all cause me immense stress.

Score 75%
Rating: Yellow (SX, L)

True Grit

The dialogue was gripping and entertaining, which is strange for a western, albeit the violence was a little bit over the top, which is strange for a western. It also could have ended 5 minutes sooner and I wouldn't have minded. Definitely a guy movie. 

Score: 79%
Rating: Yellow (V)

6/14/11

Cinderella Man

I am hyper-hyper-HYPER sensitive to people dying while playing organized sports. It FREAKS ME OUT. That's all I'm saying.

Score: 95%
Rating: Green

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlbHzcH4VJY

X Men: First Class

I think I like prequels even more than sequels because it is like watching a movie while watching a movie you've already seen. Every few minutes you see or hear something that brings you back to the future in a joyous, fulfilling moment.  So, if you like the other X men movies, I'm certain you'll dig this one.

Score: 85%
Rating: Yellow (l,v)

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrbHykKUfTM

I am Number 4

This movie was about as good as Number 2 if ya know what I mean.

Score: 40%
Rating: Red (st,v)

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5djHG3hPu0

5/21/11

The Sum of all Fears

This movie is all like whoa! and then it's all like whaa? and then it's all like WHOA! and then it's all like WHAT THE?! and then it's all like....whew

It's also not completely unfathomable.

Score: 87%
Rating: Green (L)

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJIF9-6D52w

Unstoppable

Meh.

It's a movie about a train.

Score: 75
Rating: yellow

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM-0Ywc7wNY&NR=1

The Tourist

I hate when I watch movies that I hear are lame... and they end up being lame.

I like when I watch movies that I hear are good....and they end up being good.



But oh how I love watching movies that I hear are lame...and they end up being awesome.

Go enjoy The Tourist and don't listen to what anybody else says. This movie is a winner.

Score: 95%

Rating: Green

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrqpKEOF8uw

5/5/11

Rango

Dern tootin near rillistic special fex, with snickr to m'self dialogue: all dun in suthrn, westrn or mexican accents.  Can't help but redly admit I chuckled once er twice at the swers throughout: granned they wer
mostly the H-E-double hockey stick word n' spoken by reptilian folk. 

Score: 87%
Rating: Green

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-OOfW6wWyQ

5/1/11

Young Victoria


Romantic, classy, and politically intriguing. Not cheesy (suprisingly).

Call me crazy but this movie made me want to time travel….and possibly rule the British Empire. 

Score: 95%
Rating: Green

Megamind


So bad at being bad. So good at pretending to be bad. Accidentally good at defeating good. So bad at creating good. So good at defeating bad. So good at being good.

Hope that didn’t give anything away.

Score: 100%
Rating: Green

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJtot_f-snU

4/27/11

The Next Three Days

I had to do yoga and meditate for an hour before I could relieve half the stress this movie caused me. I was so stressed out I was literally sweating and tensing up my shoulders.

This movie is believable and unpredictable. Incredible writing and acting.

Definitely one of my recent favorites.

Score: 90%
Rating: Green

The A Team

The "A" in A team stands for Asinine.

It's nothing but pandemonium that leaves you feeling dissatisfied.

I don't recall ever feeling remotely enthralled at any point in this movie.

Score: 40%
Rating: Red

3/9/11

Valkyrie

You have a responsiblity as a human being to see this movie.

It is important for your character, your patriotism, and your life perspective.


Really, I insist.

Score: 95%
Rating: Green

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHtCaVtryiE

Quote: "Long live sacred Germany!"

Rescue Dawn

This movie is about an airplane pilot named Dieter. He is German and escaped WWII Germany.

Although his last name is not Uchtdorf, he is radically heroic and charming.

This may have something to do with the fact that he is played by Christian Bale.



I Love this movie. It makes me cringe, wince, and cry, but it leaves me with a profound respect for Vietnam War veterans.

Score: 90%
Rating: Yellow (V)


Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2jIKkxSsBg

Quote: "Howdy"

Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

This movie coulda been cool.
The acting woulda been good if the writing wasn't lame
The action shoulda been exciting if the choreography wasn't so far fetched.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

uh-uh.

Score: 60%
Rating: Yellow (st)

Preview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J2fo5alMVI